I don’t believe that anything can quite prepare you for the moment you see those 2 lines show up on a pregnancy test. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been trying for 3 years, 3 weeks or you’re quietly (or not so quietly) thinking ‘shit how did this happen’, getting that positive result will send your world into a spin. You might be absolutely beside yourself with excitement immediately and want to take out a full page ad telling the whole world, or you might be quietly panicking even if you were wanting it to happen. You’re entitled to your own reaction, whatever that might be. Allow yourself to feel it. And let me tell you, if you are panicking, once you get your head around it and have time to breathe, you will get past that. And trust me, even though you might feel like it, you’re not the 1st woman to go through it and no matter what you think, you’re not a horrible person (or mother to be) for feeling that way.
Having a baby is a massive, life changing experience. It’s perfectly normal to start questioning it and over thinking every aspect of it. You might be thinking shit, are we really ready for this, can we actually do this, can I actually do this? Pregnancy does so many things to you & to your body. You might be worrying about putting on a stack of weight, getting sick, not being able to drink, eat soft cheese, wear high heels or go horse riding (even if you haven’t been horse riding or whatever else in 10 years, the thought of suddenly not being able to do it can be, for some reason, quite upsetting). It’s ok to mourn your old lifestyle. It’s the only life you’ve ever known so the thought of it suddenly changing in so many ways can be unnerving, especially when you don’t have a great deal of control over it. I think it’s harder for us girls too. Our lives change the second we find out we’re growing a teeny tiny person inside us. We have to eat right (or at least try to eat), stop drinking alcohol, stop eating certain foods, not to mention deal with how our body is reacting to the whole being pregnant thing. All the while, our guys get to gloat about how their missus is knocked up.. Unfair much?
And then the thought of actually having a real live baby creeps into your mind… can I really look after a tiny little helpless person properly? Will I know what to do? What if he/she won’t stop crying? What if I do something wrong? What if I suck at being a mum? And let’s not even think about the actual giving birth part.. It’s enough to send even the strongest of women into a hysterical panic attack.
It’s quite normal for this panic to come & go throughout your pregnancy. Especially once your belly starts growing & your due date feels like it’s coming quicker then you’re ready to accept. My advice? Just breathe... And remember you’re not the 1st person to ever be pregnant and be panicking. If billions of women before us can do it, we can do it too. Remind yourself that you CAN do this. Just take it one step at a time. There’s not point sending yourself into a hyperventilating fit about being in labour when you’re 8 weeks pregnant. You have 9 months to prepare for that, panic about that bit later.
I’ve found that the more my stomach grows, and the more my body changes (hello leaky nipples) the more I freak about exactly what this is all doing to my body. I’ve started worrying about exactly how big my stomach is going to get, what it’s all doing to my insides, what it will do to my outsides.. I guess when you’re body has been the same for so many years it can be really hard to accept the rapid changes and the fact that it might never look the same again, especially if you kinda liked how it was before (even though you never would have admitted it at the time). While this is something I’m still struggling with myself, I’m thinking that the best thing to do is just accept your ‘new’ body, however it turns out. After all, it’s doing something pretty spectacular in creating your child.
The list of panic worthy things in relation to being pregnant & having a baby can be endless, especially when it’s your first and you have NO idea what to expect. Just remember; it’s normal, what you’re feeling is normal and everything WILL be ok. Again, just breathe. And eat some chocolate.
If you are seriously concerned about how you’re coping emotionally with being pregnant, talk to someone. Whether it’s your partner, your mum, the nice old lady next door or even better, your doctor. You might find that you feel so much better (and even slightly silly) after getting it all off your chest. And if you don’t, allow people to help you. Experiencing depression during pregnancy is unfortunately common so chances are your doctor has seen this before and will know what to do to help you. Don’t try and be tough, you’re going through enough just with being pregnant, depression isn’t something you need to struggle with too.
If you don’t feel brave enough to talk to someone, join an online forum and chat with women who are in or have been in similar situations. Knowing that you’re not alone and that you’re not the first person to experience this could be all the comfort that you need. There’s also some great websites that deal with depression during and after pregnancy. In this instance (and I will not recommend this many times) Google can be your friend.
Just remember to be kind to yourself and to your body. Together you’re creating a life. That’s pretty huge.
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