Hormones

Ahhh hormones. Where to begin with these blessed things…

Hormones can and will be responsible for tears and tantrums throughout your pregnancy. It sounds so cliché when you talk about pregnant hormonal women. ‘Oh don’t upset the pregnant woman, just agree with her... Don’t say anything to set her off, just smile and nod’. Some people make us out to be the devil reincarnate. I always used to think this was a bit far fetched and unfair. The truth is, you never really understand it until you’ve experienced it (and sometimes devil reincarnate is actually closer to the truth then we’d care to admit). It can be quite unnerving and quite distressing. You could find yourself thinking there’s something seriously wrong with you. You could start questioning your own sanity and wondering if you need psychiatric help. You don’t. You’re pregnant. You’re going to be irrational and moody and teary. You have about 20 million new and crazy things going on inside of you, and this includes a mammoth wave of hormones that take over you like a plague.  

When you’re used to being a calm level headed woman, suddenly having little to no control over your emotions is really hard. You might find that you get really cranky at yourself for being so irrational. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to talk myself out of being so upset because Woolworths didn’t have the right brand of caramel fudge, or the Voice was on too late for me to stay awake to watch. But sadly no amount of stern words has helped me..It really is insane how upset and sometimes really cranky you’ll find yourself getting over the most trivial things. It is at this point I would like to apologise to partners and husbands of pregnant women everywhere. We really do love you immensely and no, the volume of your footsteps really isn’t that loud and the fact you left a dirty dish in the sink really doesn’t mean we want your head on a platter, despite the fact that our over reactions may state otherwise.

While I’m on the subject of apologies, I would also like to apologise to my entire local traffic population. I’m fairly sure I’ve called every single one of you some foul name under my breath (well really loudly if I’m completely honest) while I’ve been driving behind you, in front of you or in your general vicinity. I’m so glad that babies don’t come out talking because I’m fairly sure my daughter’s first words would be profanity of some sort merely from being in the car with me on the way home from work… Oopsie.

Now I’m not normally a big crier. I hate crying & I especially hate doing it in front of other people. So unfortunately for me I’m now finding myself either crying or at least tearing up regularly and mostly around lots of people! I was almost in a fit of tears at the Sydney Star City Casino last week because the only thing I could stomach for dinner was hot chips when there was so many other yummy foods around. And don’t even think about watching a movie that has the potential to be sad, has birth scenes or babies or even puppies in it. Tears will be flying everywhere. You have been warned. In saying that, never underestimate the power of a good deep breath. Sometimes it can be the difference between keeping it together and losing your perfectly applied mascara all the way down your face. Although sometimes no amount of breathing will stop those tears from coming and sometimes, you just need to let them out to feel better. You might even find yourself on the other side of a snivelling teary episode wondering what the hell your problem is. I’ve asked myself that question so many times it’s ridiculous. I never seem to have an answer either.

Unfortunately there’s no quick fix for all these insane emotional ups & downs. Normally I would suggest wine, however in our situations, probably not the best idea. So, I’ve replaced wine with chocolate. And ice cream. It might not make you feel better but while you’re shovelling that 15^th scoop of ice cream in your mouth & enjoying the caramel/chocolate/vanilla/pickle flavours, I can guarantee you won’t be crying. So if you ask me, that’s a win. So, chocolate & ice cream for everyone!

When 2 cents worth adds up to 20 dollars worth

I have found that a lot of people don’t have a filter when it comes to things they say to a pregnant woman. It’s like once you’re pregnant it gives everyone free reign to tell you exactly what they think whether that’s good bad or otherwise. Yes, because us pregnant ladies don’t have feelings that are easily hurt… Offend away douche bag! And the funny thing is, if you ever retaliate with a less then impressed comment all of a sudden you become a devil woman possessed by pregnancy hormones. Yes, the hormones made me cranky, not your incredibly inappropriate comment.

You will get bombarded with people’s horror stories from their next door neighbour’s cousin’s wife’s labour, ‘helpful’ advice, what you definitely shouldn’t do, what you absolutely must do… the list goes on. It starts as soon as people find out you’re pregnant and it only gets worse as time goes on, especially when you become visibly pregnant & then strangers join in on the fun. Oh the joy. 

Then of course you get the sticky beak people who never normally even acknowledge you who want to know all the nitty gritty details… when are you due? (not soon enough) Do you know what you are you having? (A baby I presume) Have you been sick? (would you like me to vomit on your shoes?) Are you going to breastfeed? (pretty sure I don’t want to discuss my boobs & what function they’ll be performing with someone who probably can’t remember my name) Are you going to have a natural labour, drugs? (you have about 2.3 seconds before I lose my shit with you).

For some reason everyone wants to talk to you when you’re pregnant, and only about being pregnant & baby stuff. Because once you’re pregnant, that is the only thing that interests you. You don’t have a life or any interests outside being pregnant and having your baby anymore. I’ve gotten very good at ‘Mmmhmm- ing’ and giving one word answers to probing questions from people who I know are just being nosey.  I’ve gotten to the stage where I’m willing people to just not talk to me at all. I don’t have the energy for the politeness that it requires. You might have more guts then me and actually be able to say all the things that are running through your head to the offending person. And if you do, good for you. On behalf of pregnant women everywhere, I applaud you. I’m sure that one day I’ll have a dangerous combination of hormones & a lack of sleep and some poor person will cop every smart arse answer I’ve been bottling up from everyone else. So in advance, I apologise. Well I feel like I should apologise anyway, I can’t guarantee that I mean it wholeheartedly…   

Everyone seems to have an opinion on what you should/shouldn’t be eating, drinking, doing or not doing. I had a person who was absolutely horrified that I was at the gym while ‘in my condition’. According to them I should be at home with my feet up eating whatever I want & doing as little as possible. Great way to gain an extra 20 unwanted kilos, just what I want! I don’t know how many times I’ve told people that I’m pregnant, not dying. I mean sure, if you want to use pregnancy as the perfect excuse to be lazy & eat lots go ahead. But it’s not actually an essential part of being pregnant.

Now, I am not by any means a big girl. And at 29 weeks pregnant I can still fit into my size 9 skinny jeans (yes, I am proud of that, but no I cannot do them up). But, when I was about 16 weeks pregnant I had someone tell me I didn’t look pregnant, just ‘podgy’. Gee, thanks. I had someone else tell me I was looking ‘plump’. No really, thank you SO much.

I am still baffled as to what makes people think it’s ok to tell a woman she looks fat/large etc when she’s pregnant. You wouldn’t say it to a non-pregnant woman, why on earth say it to one who has a damn good reason for the extra 10kgs she’s toting around? Because you know, we just love to be reminded of all that extra weight we’re carrying that we can’t do anything about losing just yet. So, just for the record, terms like podgy, plump, wide, large, huge and chubby all make the ‘call-me-that-again-and-I’ll-punch-you’ list. Just so you know. Oh, and your fat pregnant lady ‘jokes’ aren’t funny. Neither is giving us a wide berth in the hallway because you’re alluding to the fact we need so much more room to pass around you because we’re so ‘huge’. And telling us at morning teas that we’ve already ‘had enough’ to eat, yep not funny either.

Once your bump is more visible & formed the range of opinions is amazing. Nobody seems to keep their opinion to themselves either. One day, in the space of about 20 minutes I was told by one person that I was huge, and then that I was tiny by someone else. I also had someone once change their opinion within the 1 conversation. ‘Oh you’re sooo big, how far along are you?’ ‘27 weeks’ ‘Oh, you’re so little’. Want to make your mind up there sunshine? Everyone seems to have an opinion as to how big they think you should be at a certain stage of pregnancy, or where you are ‘carrying’ your baby. Which of course then leads to people telling you that you’re definitely having a boy/girl because your belly is sitting at a 35.7 degree angle from your spine with a radius of 72.1 cms. Thanks for that, I didn’t realise you had x-ray vision and could see through my belly to the gender of my baby.. Then you’ll have people telling you how big or small your baby is judging by the size of your belly. Oh you’re so clever, I didn’t realise you had x-ray vision and have the ability to weigh my unborn baby with your eyes… You’re amazing.

People like to tell you every time your belly has ‘popped’ too. Oh gee thanks for that! I really hadn’t noticed the rapidly expanding bowling ball suddenly attached to the front of me. I wondered why my jeans wouldn’t do up anymore.. And when you have 20 people in one day tell you this, it gets very old very quickly. I still can’t believe how amazed people are that my belly keeps growing. Incredible, pregnant woman’s belly keeps growing! Pretty sure there’s no shocking news worthy stories there. FYI, pregnant bellies continue to grow until the baby is born. Just in case you missed that one. 

I’ve noticed that people like to make you feel bad for worrying about ‘trivial’ little things that they don’t deem important. Belly rings for example. For some reason keeping mine in is important to me, I guess it’s almost like a reminder of the ‘old’ me or something. But I had people tell me that I shouldn’t worry about stupid things like that when I have something so much more important to focus on. I also had people tell me I was silly to prefer a boy first and that a healthy baby should be the only thing that matters. I think it goes without saying that you want your baby to be healthy above everything else, but it’s also ok to prefer or want a boy or girl first or to want to keep your belly ring in or not get stretch marks. It doesn’t mean you’re going to want or love your baby any less and it definitely does not make you a terrible mother. If it’s important to you, then it’s important. Don’t let people make you feel bad for it.

So basically, when you’re pregnant you’ll most likely end up with a strong dislike for most people who open their mouths in your direction. If you’re not pregnant, think very carefully about what you’re about to say to that pregnant woman you pass in the hallway. It could be the final straw that breaks the hormonal woman’s self control...

Becoming a not so social butterfly

Now, this might not be an issue that is important to a lot of people. Or maybe it’s important to more people then those who care to admit it. Some of you might be more then happy to give up any form of a social life or friends when you’re pregnant and even once you’ve had your baby. Being social might not even come into your thought process. That’s fine, and more power to you. But my social life and my friends and feeling like the ‘normal’ me is important to me. And at the moment, I’ll take any form of normal me that I can get. I am a 28 year old woman and I like to have fun and enjoy myself, I enjoy a glass of champagne or wine (and I miss it!), I love wearing high heels and getting dolled up (oh how I miss these too), and I’m not going to apologise for any of that. And as much as I love this baby growing inside of me and as much as I am excited about being a mum and as much as I know that obviously my life will never be the same as my pre mum days, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want to be ‘me’ as well as be someone’s mum.

When you’re pregnant, particularly with your first baby, you might find yourself drifting away from some of your friends. Especially if they are not pregnant, aren’t looking to become pregnant in the near future or they don’t already have kids. It’s nobody’s fault, but it does hurt a little bit. It’s just unfortunately something that happens and it’s one more reminder of how quickly and dramatically your life is changing. Once you’re pregnant your lifestyle instantly changes. You can no longer join your girlfriends for big nights out, you can’t go for cocktails on a Sunday afternoon, and the thought of going out for lunch or dinner might be enough to make you want to burst into tears, and then vomit. This puts a massive dampener on any form of social life you may have once had, and it can be very upsetting.

You might end up feeling boring and even like you’re cut off from the world to a degree, like everyone around you is out having fun and you’re not having any. Couple this with your new found hormones and you have a recipe for a major ‘woe is me’ session accompanied by an overflow of tears that you’ve become so used to lately. I know I’ve shed quite a few tears because I’ve felt like that. I’ve often become overwhelmed with the feeling that I never get to have any fun anymore and that my life is suddenly over (again, thank you hormones for this irrational and insane train of thought, and yes I am aware of how pathetic I sound). At the moment I feel like I spend my days either at work or at home feeling sick and with no energy to do anything. When you feel like this it’s hard to hear about the fun nights out your best friend is still having without you, or the (several) beers your partner had with his mates at the pub, or even the amazing camping trip your friends have had complete with jet skiing and horse rides. You might feel like you’re ‘missing out’, and understandably so.

Since being pregnant I think I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve gotten to put on some nice make up, do my hair all pretty and get dressed up in something other then my stretchy track pants. It’s no one’s fault, it just comes down to the fact that no, I can’t go out drinking and I definitely don’t want to be a sober pregnant woman in a pub getting pushed & shoved all over the place. And no, I can’t go out for dinner because the only thing I can stomach right now is a bread roll while laying in a ball on the lounge. Being social can be very difficult while your pregnant, especially if you feel like crap all the time and have the energy of a sloth.

If you have really great friends, you’ll find they’re more then happy to sometimes do something that you can actually do, even if that means just coffee & cake once a month on a day that you actually feel slightly human (mmm cake..). If you get the opportunity, do it. Don’t decline because you think you’ll be tired, or it might be raining or the only pants that fit you are in the wash. Make yourself to go. You’ll probably find that once you’ve got some nice clothes on and you’re in the real world that exists outside your lounge room, talking to your friends you might actually forget about being miserable pregnant, and enjoy yourself. Sometimes it’s really nice not to talk, think and breathe pregnancy and baby stuff. Even if it is just for an hour. .

If you seem to be lacking in friends who are willing to give up clubbing for a night to spend time with you, then try and make some new friends. If you’re far enough along in your pregnancy, you might have started birthing classes. Suss the other couples out and see if you get on with any of them enough to socialise with. Don’t be shy, chances are the girl on the other side of the room is wondering the same thing. You can also try online forums or even Facebook groups. I’ll put money on there being a fair amount of women in your position who would love a new pregnant friend or two to bond with. I know that I’m hoping to find some new friends who are in the same position as me, and that’s not because I don’t love my old friends anymore, because I do. But I need a different type of friendship now as well as what I used to have. I need mummy friends who I don’t have to explain things to, I need mummy friends who just get it.

It’s guess it’s easy to be made to feel guilty for wanting to maintain some form of social life during pregnancy and once you’re a mum. It’s almost like it’s just expected that once you’re pregnant and once you’re a mum that is the only thing that you’ll ever want to be again. This may be the case for many mums out there, and like I said that’s more then fine. And once I actually have this baby my attitude could change dramatically. But right now, I want to hold on to at least parts of who I am, after all that’s all I’ve ever known for the last 28 years and I’m not so keen to completely give that up.

'Morning' Sickness

I’d just like to say firstly that, ‘morning sickness’ needs to be renamed to pregnancy sickness. Or ‘I’m-so-sick-I-can’t-remember-feeling-healthy’ sickness. Yes, It can show up in the mornings. But it can also show up at lunch time or in the afternoon or in the evening. Or, if you’re really lucky it will show up in the morning and hang around all damn day. And it might not kick in straight away either. It might sneak up on you & hit you a bit later in your pregnancy just when you think you’ve escaped it. Or, you might get it from basically the day you conceive. No matter what time of the day, or what stage of your pregnancy you get it, it’s not pleasant. In fact, it’s downright awful. Of course, the degree of sickness will vary from person to person. You might be one of the super lucky ones and never get sick. And trust me, if you’re one of those people, I hate you you should be very grateful! And despite old wives tales, if you’re not sick it doesn’t mean you aren’t growing a healthy baby. Your body can just handle the pregnancy hormone better then the next pregnant woman. I was told I was just ‘allergic’ to the pregnancy hormone. Awesome. Why couldn’t I develop an allergy to nuts or housework for 9 months instead?

When I used to imagine early pregnancy I imagined spending the mornings with my head in the toilet and wanting to vomit at the slightest whiff of fish or coffee. And yes, that happens. But, what I had no idea about until actually being pregnant were the food aversions. Personally, the amount of food that I can’t stomach far outweighs the amount that I can. Foods that you normally love and could eat by the bucket load pre pregnancy might now make you want to hurl by merely thinking about them. Even simple things like steamed veggies. I LOVE veggies normally. However, since being pregnant the thought of cooked carrot & broccoli makes my stomach turn. Yes, the one time in my life I really need to eat healthy and I can’t stomach it. Great. This makes meal times very difficult. And you might find that something you crave one day and eat 3 plate loads of will make you sick at the very thought of it the next. Cruel, I know. And it can get to the point where it’s depressing. I want to cry every time my fiancé asks me what I want for dinner. And after hours of deliberation the answer is usually hot chips. Or a buttered bread roll. Or roast pumpkin. Oh, or as a last resort, Weet-Bix. Yes, my diet is that exciting at the moment. If you find yourself feeling like this, just go with what you feel like/can actually stomach. If that means 2 minute noodles 3 nights in a row, then so be it. And if you want caramel pudding for dinner because it’s the only thing that doesn’t make you want to throw up, then go for it. My theory is, if I can stomach it, I’m eating it. Now that is not sound nutritional advice in any shape or form, and I know a lot of nutritionist and doctors will probably be shaking their heads at that statement, but they probably haven’t had pregnancy sickness and if you haven’t had pregnancy sickness you really really don’t understand what it’s like. And seriously, eating a bowl of apple crumble & ice cream is better then having nothing at all. And besides, it’s fruit & dairy, right? Make sure however, that you take a pregnancy multi vitamin every day. They come in tablet or liquid form for those who can’t seem to swallow tablets (like moi!). They will at least top you up on things like iron & certain Vitamins that you’re probably missing out on from the food you’re not eating. I know that taking them makes me feel slightly less guilty for not eating my 5 serves of fruit & veg every day.

There might come a point in your pregnancy where vomiting might be no big deal to you anymore. You could be in the middle of a conversation and excuse yourself, go & throw up and then return to the conversation without missing a beat. On the other hand, you could spend the majority of your pregnancy clinging to the toilet bowl for dear life. Then again,  you might not throw up at all. Like I’ve said, everyone is different.

If you’re not actually throwing up, you’re probably nauseous. Like ‘I’ve had way too many glasses of champagne’ nauseous. It’s gross. And if the only thing that makes you feel even slightly better is curling up in a ball on the cold ground, do it. Unless of course that cold ground is the footpath outside your work. Then maybe wait until you at least get inside.

You might even just experience a really ‘dirty’ feeling in the pit of your stomach. Like you might feel the day after a really big night out on the drink. Actually sometimes pregnancy feels like one big hangover. But without the fun night out.

I’ve noticed that there are waves of nausea too. And they can come at the most unfortunate of times and from nowhere. Like in the movies. I spent a good few minutes of American Pie Reunion looking desperately for something I could throw up in. Then there was the time it happened in the middle of dinner, in a lovely restaurant, where the toilets were way upstairs… or the time I was in the supermarket… Not my finest moments, let me tell you! I have mastered the art of preventing a looming vomit (well, some of them anyway) , so none of these situations managed to provide the embarrassment they threatened me with. But you might not be as lucky. Sometimes, when you have to throw up, you just have to and no amount of attempting to prevent it will stop it. May I suggest carrying around some plastic bags, or better still, a bucket, in your handbag, just in case. I hope, for your sake, that you never have to use them.

You can get prescribed medication as well as pharmacy bought remedies to try to ease the nausea/vomiting. I was taking ginger tablets for a while that did ease the nausea slightly. I was in love with these tablets for a good few weeks. That was until one day I threw them back up & they burnt the heck out of my stomach & throat. Then all I could taste was ginger for a couple of hours and my throat felt like it was on fire. Needless to say, I haven’t touched them since. I also was prescribed some anti nausea tablets by a doctor. And quite honestly, I found they did sweet bugger all to help. It was as useful as swallowing a tic tac, but without the sugary goodness.

Morning sickness is supposed to ease up at around 12 -13 weeks. I use the term ‘supposed to’ very loosely. I am 25 weeks pregnant and while I have thankfully stopped throwing up, I am still nauseous every day and my food aversions have not gone anywhere. So while people might mean the best when they tell you ‘it will go away soon’ they might also have no freaking idea what they’re talking about. I held onto the hope for weeks & weeks that my pregnancy sickness would magically disappear when I woke up one morning only to be disappointed every week when it did not. I’ve given up hope now and have accepted that I will be sick forever. Ok, well at least until the end of my pregnancy. But it feels like forever! I honestly cannot wait for the day when someone asks me ‘How are you feeling?’ and I can say good! I’m guessing that day will be in approximately 3 months time.. or maybe 18 years. Time will tell I guess!

Early pregnancy symptoms

Our bodies do some amazing things while cooking our little buns. And all of these things start happening from the moment of conception. I believe that if you know your body well enough, you’ll pick up on all these little changes pretty early on. Well that was the case for me anyway. Again, when you start experiencing pregnancy symptoms will vary. So if you get to say week 8 or 9 or even 11 or 12 and you still don’t ‘feel’ pregnant don’t panic.

Some things you may notice are a runny nose (due to the hormones you can get swelling in the mucus membranes ), headaches (again, due to the extra hormones), mood swings (thanks again, hormones), bloating, cramping, gas, backaches, leg aches, sore (read excruciating)  & possibly much larger boobs. Then there’s the constipation and, on the other end of the scale, the times you’re on the toilet every half an hour, and not to wee. Let’s not forget the tiredness that smacks you in the face several times a day, or the 20 trips to the loo during the night and the midnight leg cramps (which doesn’t help the tiredness factor). Oh and apparently your hair grown quicker too, which is great for the hair on your head that you’re always encouraging to grow, not so great for the 20 billion other hairs on your body that you’re constantly trying to get rid of…

One of the first things I noticed was my sense of smell suddenly became better then that of a blood hound. It's bizarre. If someone was eating vegemite 7 desks away from me, I could smell it. That doesn't seem to go away either. I can tell you exactly what my neighbour at work is eating without even looking. Even if it's a sandwhich, with cucumber on it. Like I said, bizarre. It doesn't help though when you get whiffs of something that doesn't sit well with you. It's amazing how smells can turn your stomach when pregnant, sometimes quite literally. Like dog food. Luckily my fabulous fiance feeds our dogs otherwise the poor buggers would be getting weet-bix for dinner every night. I've spent a lot of my pregnancy breathing through my mouth to avoid smells that could possibly cause a quick evacuation of my breakfast. My suggestion, do the same! 

There could be times when you could feel like you’re getting your period after you’ve gotten your big positive on a home pregnancy test. Again, please don’t panic. This is quite common and isn’t necessarily a sign of something bad. I was convinced that my period was coming in the days leading up to finding out I was pregnant as well as for a few weeks afterwards. You'll probably experience a range of aches & pains in your pelvic region at different times during your pregnancy. This is mainly due to everything getting ready to house your little one for the next 9 months. So things need to stretch and move around in order to make room. It’s often called round ligament pain. I found a heat pack or warm bath helped to relieve it. However if any cramping gets unbearable or is accompanied by any bleeding go & get checked by your doctor or local hospital ASAP. 

You might notice an increase in cervical mucus (I know, gross right?). This is due to (again) the increase in estrogen and other hormones. It can also act as an infection barrier helping to protect your developing foetus from any nasties that could try to get it there. So it does have a purpose other then just to gross you out.

For those of you who are fake tanners (firstly check that what you’re using is ok and spray tans aren’t a great idea to be getting regularly because of the fumes you breathe in) don’t be surprised if it just doesn’t seem to work as well as normal. I don’t even know the reason for it (I’m guessing.. hormones?) but I found that my fake tan wouldn’t develop as well as normal & it didn’t last as long as usual either.

I have never known a hunger like early pregnancy hunger. It seriously feels like your stomach is eating itself, even if you’ve only just eaten. I could devour 3 cheeseburgers in about 3 minutes flat in the 1^st week after discovering I was pregnant (Of course, this was before the sickness set in & I actually still had an appetite). It was quite impressed with myself! I found I was snacking for most of the day as well as having 3 (or 5) main meals. This hunger I’ve noticed comes & goes throughout the pregnancy. It can ease right off only to come back with a vengeance a few weeks later. Whatever the case, just go with it. If you’re hungry, eat! And ignore the people who will no doubt give you the typical ‘oh I see you really are eating for 2’ looks and comments. You have a good reason for eating so much. They do not.

Chances are you’ll also experience some heartburn at some stage during your pregnancy. I’d never had it before and I must say I don’t care for it. I’d like it to bugger off & leave me alone. But, it’s not that easy to get rid of unfortunately. And it doesn’t necessarily matter what you’ve eaten. It’s mainly due to all the muscles in your tummy relaxing to allow bubs to grow & that therefore means stomach acid & the like can escape easier. Oh yay. I’ve found that cold milk seems to be my saviour & works quite well. I haven’t tired any of the actual heartburn medications at this stage as the thought of trying to take tablets or any form of liquid that doesn’t taste like potatoes makes me queasy. So milk will do for now.

I don’t know about you, but since being a hormonal teenager I haven’t had a heap of pimples in my life. I mean sure, I’d get the odd one here & there but nothing over the top. Enter pregnancy & the arrival of hundreds (ok, so I might be being slightly over dramatic) of gross, disgusting pimples. And not just on your face either might I add. You can expect them on your chest, back, shoulders, thighs (yes, thighs).. And as soon as one lot seems to clear up the next lot moves in. It’s not pleasant! My recommendation is get a good pimple cream for night time & get a fabulous concealer for the day time. And if all else fails, just don’t look at them!

I’m sure there are things I’ve missed. I know, I can hear you now.. ‘there’s more??’ and I know I make pregnancy sound like some form of medieval torture. But unfortunately these are all joys of pregnancy that you might be blessed with. But, you might be lucky & escape most/some of it. And at the very least if you have a heads up you might go into it with a chance of dealing with it all a bit better then if you were going in unprepared.

Feel free to add any comments or symptoms you’ve dealt with during your pregnancy. Like I said, there’s sure to be stuff I’ve forgotten!

Pregnancy Panic

I don’t believe that anything can quite prepare you for the moment you see those 2  lines show up on a pregnancy test. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been trying for 3 years, 3 weeks or you’re quietly (or not so quietly) thinking ‘shit how did this happen’, getting that positive result will send your world into a spin. You might be absolutely beside yourself with excitement immediately and want to take out a full page ad telling the whole world, or you might be quietly panicking even if you were wanting it to happen. You’re entitled to your own reaction, whatever that might be. Allow yourself to feel it. And let me tell you, if you are panicking, once you get your head around it and have time to breathe, you will get past that. And trust me, even though you might feel like it, you’re not the 1^st woman to go through it and no matter what you think, you’re not a horrible person (or mother to be) for feeling that way.

Having a baby is a massive, life changing experience. It’s perfectly normal to start questioning it and over thinking every aspect of it. You might be thinking shit, are we really ready for this, can we actually do this, can I actually do this? Pregnancy does so many things to you & to your body. You might be worrying about putting on a stack of weight, getting sick, not being able to drink, eat soft cheese, wear high heels or go horse riding (even if you haven’t been horse riding or whatever else in 10 years, the thought of suddenly not being able to do it can be, for some reason, quite upsetting). It’s ok to mourn your old lifestyle. It’s the only life you’ve ever known so the thought of it suddenly changing in so many ways can be unnerving, especially when you don’t have a great deal of control over it. I think it’s harder for us girls too. Our lives change the second we find out we’re growing a teeny tiny person inside us. We have to eat right (or at least try to eat), stop drinking alcohol, stop eating certain foods, not to mention deal with how our body is reacting to the whole being pregnant thing. All the while, our guys get to gloat about how their missus is knocked up.. Unfair much?

And then the thought of actually having a real live baby creeps into your mind… can I really look after a tiny little helpless person properly? Will I know what to do? What if he/she won’t stop crying? What if I do something wrong? What if I suck at being a mum?  And let’s not even think about the actual giving birth part.. It’s enough to send even the strongest of women into a hysterical panic attack.

It’s quite normal for this panic to come & go throughout your pregnancy. Especially once your belly starts growing & your due date feels like it’s coming quicker then you’re ready to accept. My advice? Just breathe... And remember you’re not the 1^st person to ever be pregnant and be panicking. If billions of women before us can do it, we can do it too. Remind yourself that you CAN do this. Just take it one step at a time. There’s not point sending yourself into a hyperventilating fit about being in labour when you’re 8 weeks pregnant. You have 9 months to prepare for that, panic about that bit later.

I’ve found that the more my stomach grows, and the more my body changes (hello leaky nipples) the more I freak about exactly what this is all doing to my body. I’ve started worrying about exactly how big my stomach is going to get, what it’s all doing to my insides, what it will do to my outsides.. I guess when you’re body has been the same for so many years it can be really hard to accept the rapid changes and the fact that it might never look the same again, especially if you kinda liked how it was before (even though you never would have admitted it at the time).  While this is something I’m still struggling with myself, I’m thinking that the best thing to do is just accept your ‘new’ body, however it turns out. After all, it’s doing something pretty spectacular in creating your child.

The list of panic worthy things in relation to being pregnant & having a baby can be endless, especially when it’s your first and you have NO idea what to expect. Just remember; it’s normal, what you’re feeling is normal and everything WILL be ok. Again, just breathe. And eat some chocolate.

If you are seriously concerned about how you’re coping emotionally with being pregnant, talk to someone. Whether it’s your partner, your mum, the nice old lady next door or even better, your doctor. You might find that you feel so much better (and even slightly silly) after getting it all off your chest. And if you don’t, allow people to help you. Experiencing depression during pregnancy is unfortunately common so chances are your doctor has seen this before and will know what to do to help you. Don’t try and be tough, you’re going through enough just with being pregnant, depression isn’t  something you need to struggle with too.

If you don’t feel brave enough to talk to someone, join an online forum and chat with women who are in or have been in similar situations. Knowing that you’re not alone and that you’re not the first person to experience this could be all the comfort that you need. There’s also some great websites that deal with depression during and after pregnancy. In this instance (and I will not recommend this many times) Google can be your friend.

Just remember to be kind to yourself and to your body. Together you’re creating a life. That’s pretty huge.

Introduction

I have not written this blog to turn you off getting pregnant or put the fear of god into you if you are already pregnant. Let’s face it, if you really want a baby, you’re not going to let anyone talk you out of it or put you off. I have written this as a form of a ‘heads up’. They type of heads up I never got from any book, doctor or website. I went into this whole pregnancy thing expecting something totally different to what I’m actually experiencing. I mean I’m sure the end result will be the same, but the journey has been far from what I ever imagined it would be.

I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with my 1^st baby, a little girl. The amount of reactions and changes that have occurred within my body in the last 6 months is mind blowing. Being sick (for my entire pregnancy so far), having major food aversions, being insanely tired, mood swings, teenager style pimples, leaky boobs… I know, I make it sound so appealing, right? But I’ll be totally honest, overall I have not enjoyed much about being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful that I am pregnant and have a healthy little baby in my belly and I love feeling her moving and kicking and growing. That side of it is lovely. But the other aspects of it, not so enjoayble. And this is the side of pregnancy I think needs to be more openly talked about.

I need to emphasise that everyone is different and everyone’s pregnancy experience will be different. You might experience some, all, or none what’s talked about. You might experience other things not mentioned too. It’s your pregnancy & your body will do it it’s own way, good bad or otherwise.

You might be one of those people who absolutely love being pregnant. You might be feeling energised and glowing and be able to eat whatever you feel like.. If you are one of these lucky people, I hate you good for you! However, you could also feel like death for the 1^st three months, or if you’re super lucky the whole 9 months. On the other hand you might feel slightly off but nothing extreme. Like I said, everyone is different and everyone’s body will react differently to growing a little human.

If at any stage of your pregnancy are you seriously concerned about something you are experiencing, please call your doctor, midwife, obstetrician or even take a visit to your nearest hospital. It is better to be told it’s just a massive bubble of gas then to ignore it and have something terrible happen to you or your baby. And I can guarantee you won’t be the first woman to front up with grave concerns only to have it turn out to be nothing. Like I said, better to be safe then sorry.

This blog is based around a low risk, average pregnancy. No special needs, no complications or conditions. I’m just writing about my own personal experiences & those of people around me.

So, I hope you enjoy this blog, or at the very least feel more normal after reading it.

Ali x